Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Omnivorassious

Ugh. This list keeps popping up and around the food blog world and it's sad that I'm using it as a post as it feels like those stupid chain emails everyone keeps forwarding me. Nothing bad will happen to you if you don't answer this for yourself and forward it to your grandma's neighbor's little cousin's cuddle buddy. It's a collection of foods you're "supposed to eat before you die". Let's pretend it was created by someone great and not with a lack of tastes buds, because some of these items are questionable! What, Kopi Luwak didn't make the list?

Here's what I've had so far, in bold.

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue (never! Can you imagine? I’ve had chocolate or broth fondues, but never of the cheese variety.)
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi (dry curried veggies, typically cauli & potatoes)
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper (NOT pleasant!! The oil stayed on my fingers for a couple days.. try putting contacts in without using your fingers.. yeah. Ow in more ways that on the tongue.)
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O shot
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Single malt whisky
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55.
McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin (Yes, I’ve eaten paper! But seriously? I could think of better food items to put on this list that Kaolin.)
64. Currywurst
65. Durian (where can you get these here, and who can I offend with the smell? Durian candy count?)
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee
100. Snake

Monday, September 22, 2008

Pure goodness shall prevail!

What better way to be back from the blogging grave than revived by my own wings, feathery light, stretching far and lifting me up with one swift gust of cakey breath.

So what if you can't cook, wow yourself by buying some pre-made angel food cake (it's milk-free!) and ice cream.

Slice the cake horizontally with a bread knife in as many delicate layers as you can.
Cream the ice cream (Soy Delicious Mint Chocolate swirl in my case) until it feels like soft serve. (not punny!)
Spread a thin layer of soft serve between each spongy cake layers. If you think this recipe's too simple, baste each layer with coffee before you spread the ice cream on the cake.
Refreeze, about 20 minutes if you can manage to wait that long you ogre! Then tell me if you ate it with a fork or sandwich style.


...
I can hear the pearly white gates open.. someone's knocking on MY door for some food porn. No, this is not my sign off, it's a sign-on! Food Monstar's back with her Food Pourin', witches!