The Food Monstar

The PBBB

2011-02-27T17:43:00.010-05:00

Oh, Peanut Butter Banana sandwich, how you remind me of childhood mornings when sleepiness could be cured with one bite of you.

I won't soon grow out of eating PBB's, but what if there was a way to elevate them to a grown up's tastes? Lightning struck this morning when I was craving the classic eggs/bacon/hash-brown/fruit breakfast and a PBB sandwich. My stomach is only the size of my fist, so I had to find the ultimate combination of ingredients I craved the most. Bacon came first, then peanut butter; there was only one possible conclusion. Adding a third B to the PBB.

Two soft whole wheat bread slices are spread with a light coating of PB ALL the way to its edges. Aaaall the way. Is it a guy thing to not spread things properly? Or am I a little compulsive with having condiments reach the crust?

Split the banana lengthwise, then crosswise to make four bread long pieces of banana. Pile the B on the PB in an obsessively organized column.

As for the star ingredient, pan frying bacon with a panini or bacon press makes for a super evenly crisped flat bacon strip, ideal for the morning's project.

After letting the cooked bacon cool on paper towel, take two pieces, rip them into bite sized pieces and arrange them mosaic style onto the second PB slice so that the entire surface is covered. Slap both slices together and squish down a little to ensure the bacon is properly introduced to the banana.

Unless you're trying to photograph the insane concoction, I don't recommend cutting the sandwich at all. If you can't see the bacon, your mind will try and trick you the moment before you take the first bite. It'll be thinking "this is a normal peanut butter and banana sandwich", then Vlam! The bite that follows with knock your socks off with an explosive blend of salty sweet.

Not for the faint at heart, because your arteries may not be able to take it.

Home Food Check List - Café Archibald

2010-07-08T20:33:00.017-04:00

The first time I went to Café Archibald was maybe fifteen years ago. I was with the oldest of my big brothers, because I wasn't old enough to hang out with my friends alone at a coffee shop, let alone be drinking or liking coffee flavored things. I remember the menu being made of paper and having paper-hole-punches in the shape of an escargo. That's snail for you english folk. And that's all I remember.

Since that day, I imagined it being a place created just for me. Ok, no, but I loved the atmosphere with small intimate tables, dimly lit spaces next to the open counter of a kitchen, and the glass half wall that lets you look onto the chefs creating the Café's specialty: crepes.

It's certainly come a long way, but the main elements of their menu have remained unchanged, other than the addition of a solid couple pages of item. The two most ordered dishes (by me) are crepes of the savory kind (comes with house "amazingly dressed" salad) and the sweet dessert crepes.

You can order the savories by picking through their vast list of healthy ingredients and less healthy but vastly tasty sauces & cheeses or sifting through their pre-fab suggestions.

(spinach, chicken, tomatoes and hollandaise)

The same selection process applies with the sweeter crepes, but because the crepe base is the same as the savory crepe, we collectively find it's best to choose a singular sweet ingredient. This way, you can enjoy the pure delicateness of the crepe itself. The lone chosen ingredient will most likely compliment the crepe and let you rip it apart with your hands instead of creating a giant freakin tasty mess, like my rookie friends recently did.

(Banana Split Crepe)

My personal favorites:
Savory - tomatoes, asparagus, mushrooms and hollandaise sauce

Sweet - blueberry jammy, light not too sweet but oh so drippy chocolate sauce on the side, or maple butter.

Then there are the beverages. Coffee houses have coffee, but I dare you not to be tempted by their grandma's hot chocolate (bowl), true lattes (bowl), iced mocha (with real chocolate thicker than mousse whipped cream), or pressed on the spot lemonade.

(iced mocha)

Whatever your pleasure already is, you're sure to find new ones at Café Archibald, along with the curious need to stay until closing time, musing over life issues you figure the table next to you can't hear because they're too wrapped up in their own life altering conversations.

Here are pictures of some olden days daily specials, just for kicks.

(shrimp pizza)

(salad with oats and a yogurty dressing??... it was good.)

Be sure and check out their menu if you're ever in town.

"What's is there in New-Brunswick??" "Guy!! Everything is in N.-B. You're on the On Notice list."

Home Food Check List - Lobster Roll & Fried Clams

2010-07-07T20:10:00.013-04:00

I'm not a huge fan of clams, I'm not even a fan of battered fried things in general (other than tempura), so I can't explain why I love fried clams so much, even if they do make me a little sick. I just do. They're like stringy bits of fishy batter or if you get them at Deluxe instead of a local fish fry, they're like stingy bits of rubbery fishy batter. It's so hard to describe, so I won't this time. You just have to experience their greatness.

And lobster?

It's tasty! I'm from the coast, so of course I love fish and crustaceans; lobster is no exception. Am I the only fan of Lobster who thinks eating the darn things is too complicated and time consuming? .. And this is coming from someone who regularly takes an hour to dissect and eat a large orange. "It's part of the fun!" Pardon me, but having stinky lobster juice splash on my face and bib-less shirt is enough to make me want to wear a nuclear lab suit, or run off and order myself a lobster roll.

That's right kids, you can order a sandwich made of freshly cooked and never canned lobster. It's not even shredded, chopped, nor has it been altered in any mayoed way. It's simply tossed onto a light bed of shredded iceberg lettuce (hey, no nutrients, but it doesn't overpower the delicate lobster taste) and thrown into a run-of-the-mill white bread hot dug bun. Yum.

It's good without S & P and it supports my tradition of having lobster that's not dripping in butter, but it will cost you double the price of a real lobster. (12$ for the Lo.roll compared to 5.99$ lbs for canner lobsters.) I know, ridiculous since I'm the only who thinks this way about lobster, but on my list of things to eat first, L. rolls take precedent over lobsters in the shell..

Unless you're at a family dinner, then bring on the multi hour lobster feast, I say!!

Home Food Check List - Ice Cream

2010-06-30T23:28:00.006-04:00

I missed ice cream! Not only because I'm lactose intolerant, but because there is no such thing as real hard ice cream in Ottawa.

Back home when we want ice cream, we don't run to the freezer or DQ, we drive to the nearest ice cream shack which looks like a backyard shed with a window and a couple kids trapped inside, located on the side of the road (any road), and order up a tasty GIANT scoop of local dairy brand fancy ice cream in a dish (or cone). If you're "in the know", you'll know exactly which shack gives the biggest scoops for the cheapest price (the one near my dad's on Mountain Rd).

I have two convincing arguments for ice cream in the case of ice cream vs. gelato. Not only does milk taste richer, creamier and just better in NB (is it the cows or what we feed them?), but hard ice cream comes in multiple elaborate chunky flavors. Gelato does not.

There are three main dairy farmer brands in NB. While Ottawa has Nelsen and that other brand that starts with an L, NB has Baxter, Scotsburn, and Northumberland Dairy. Both Northumberland and Scotsburn manufacture many ice cream flavors.

If you've live in NB, you've had plenty o' opportunity to test out the dozens of flavors including Hoof Prints, Bubble Gum, Cotton Candy and Death By Chocolate. My personal long time favorite, Peanut Butter Fudge Crunch is manufactured by Scotsburn and features a rich authentic PB ice cream base, ribbons of fudgey hard chocolate sauce, large solid chunks of solid dark chocolate and impossible to locate other than in mysterious taste, graham cracker chunks. The enveloping PB taste is by far the main reason I add this to my eat-while-at-home list.

I could go on with the delicious description, but here's a couple pictures instead. It's too bad we don't yet have taste-o-vision.

Home Food Check List - Pumphouse Brewery

2010-06-29T22:19:00.010-04:00

Visiting home wouldn't be complete without my trusty food check list. This list is comprised of foods I often think about when in Ottawa, things I crave and talk about way too much, foods that remind me of being home in Moncton, NB.

First up, our very own micro brewery, the Pumphouse (Brewery). It's central, something you recommend to your visiting friends, and best of all, the beer is good and now sold in stores throughout the province.

The food is mostly infused with or uses beer in some way. I'm a fan of their pizzas, as they're cooked in a wood fire oven which gives 'em a greater bolder bubbly crust. This time, I was so bent on beer +out of town friends + seeing old friends = excitement, that I barely looked over the menu. If I had, I would have surely picked the buffalo burger.

Instead I went with a friend's favorite, the Roasted Veggie Pizza (sans mozzarella).

I like the idea of loads of toppings, but also getting ample tomatoey crust to dip into their tasty flavored olive dipping oils. I'm glad I didn't get mozza. Sure, it would have tasted good, cheese usually does, but it's also lactose overkill for me as the 'za also had feta, which I didn't omit. The pizza was good enough that I completely forgot about my Cadian Ale until I'd finished eating.

On a side note, I think I'm the only one who adds salt & pepper to their pizza..

Often I've been caught ordering the Beer Steamed Mussels. It comes with beer bread, which tastes like normal good multigrain bread to us regular folk.

The size of the mussels left to be desired when I compare it to the Clocktower's even if they were both PEI mussels. The taste was perfectly good if I can give them redemption after I've dissed their size (could have been a one time fluke). The beer broth was soaked up with what bread I had, and if I'd had a spoon, I would have turned it into a soup after that too.

The only question I have left is why I haven't tried their sister restaurant, the Barnyard BBQ. My brother raves about their gumbo. Or was it their chili. Next time, next list, I'll have both.

How many substitutions is too many?

2010-06-21T13:17:00.005-04:00

I realize that the higher the amount of subs I make, the more likely things are going to go horribly wrong. At what point will the waitstaff start to get really irritated with my substitutions list?

I know just how I like my Grilled Fajita Steak salad at Local Heroe's (essentially a taco salad), and I was pretty baffled at how well they handled my multiple requests. Taco Salad sans fromage, in a bowl instead of the deep fried taco shell, and with salsa as the salad dressing. "Salsa?" Uh. Yes. Salsa. Tacos are eaten with salsa (or taco sauce), right? Doesn't it make sense to have it as a dressing?

Team Blackhawks (it was Stanley Cup game day) specified that technically I was only asking for one sub, the dressing. The rest was arguably not a sub since I'd rather have my salad in a real bowl, and was ixnaying the cheese because of the lactose issue.

After about four cups of coffee and waters, the order arrived without a hint of a frown or a shred of cheese. The small cut romaine lettuce was done right (lettuce in a salad should never be bigger than you can fit in your mouth without shoving), tomatoes and veggies were fresh and crisp, but the best parts are the grilled mushrooms and large onion slivers, topped a mound of perfectly cooked fajita steak. And salsa. Blows my soccer socks off everytime.

Mushy On Yo Hammie

2010-05-19T23:28:00.007-04:00

It's mini sandwich time! To celebrate the occasion, sandwiches shall forever be renamed sammies. Of course it only makes sense to then call ham sammies, hammies. And if I'm adding mushrooms to my hammies, which I've also taking the liberty of renaming mushies, then we would have on our messy hands, a mushie hammie.

Why with an "ie?" Because I'm french and you're going to put up with my late night spelling idiosyncrasies and watch me add ie to whichever word I fancie. At least I didn't spell it "nite".

Now here's the tale of my little mushie hammie.

Once upon a time..

..a little sliced mini wheat roll was missing his friend jambon. Ham found bun and jumped on the love train to make a quick counter hammie. Hammie was feeling all green thumbs about the near expiring brown paper bag mushies, so I pan fried and steak spiced and topped it all off. The assembled mushie hammie rolled and rolled on the counter, basking in it's own tastiness and colliding with Mr. Onyon who volunteered his deliciousness as a caramelized peace officer. Hammie was all too amused to be eaten, but ordered a Ms Lite Cream Cheezette to tame the appealing ways of the steamy Onyon. Cooled and composed, the little bundle of happy time friends kept rolling and rolling, rolling straight into my wide open mouth. The end.

I made these for an older pot-luck among many other overly complicated mini sammies, individually wrapped and all. I expected the office to not finish every one and hand them outside to folks who would really appreciate any kind of food. The office liked them, but sadly rain scared the usual outside the office outsiders back indoors, thus making me eat all the mini sammies myself.

This was enlightening. I learned that I can eat the same thing five days in a row and if it's good enough my tastes buds will still be fist pumping eachother, and that food stories almost always inevitably sound dirtier than they are meant to be.

The double end.

Cookies?

2010-05-19T22:56:00.004-04:00

Today feels like an oatmeal cookie day but I have no proper ingredients and I don't have my dad's ever-changing oatmeal cookie recipe. They always taste the same regardless of how he meddles with the recipe, unless when he adds Carob chips (worst possible substitution) or mint-chocolate chips (the best).

I'm a little home sick for my parents food, so I'm posting oatmeal cookie photos and leaving you drooling and hunting for your own parents recipes.

Mmmm.... as lumpy as five month old milk, but much much more delectably so.

Veggie Bars

2010-05-11T22:41:00.012-04:00

My best friend's mom is my expert in comfort food. Her home was the place to be for turkey, lasagna, cookies, breakfast, the day after Christmas, Christmas in July, and I'm stopping myself short here.

I wanted a crowd pleaser for a lunchtime potluck last week and I started craving her veggie bars. That there recipe is a pot luck worthy one. I couldn't find the copy of the recipe she gave me, so I searched by ingredient for an online version which yielded tons of similar tried and tested recipes.

2 packages of lesser fat Pillsbury crescent rolls

1 package of 44% less fat Philly cream cheese (yes, it is 44%)

1 package of dry Ranch salad dressing mix

a bunch of coarsely grated cheddar cheese, the really normal kind

a half cup of finely diced red onions

a half cup of finely diced green peppers

some chopped chives

about a cup mixture of finely chopped broccoli and cauliflower

one grated carrot

pepper and cayenne to taste

Mix creamed cheese with Ranch mix, and refrigerate an hour.

Prepare the chopped things.

Roll out the Pillsbury dough on a cookie sheet and bake according to instructions. Spread the cheese onto the dough after it's cooked and cooled.

Sprinkle with pepper and cayenne, then veggies and cheddar.

Cut into bars.

Cool it or eat right away.

Great recipe to make the night before if you have Cling Wrap that actually clings, not like my silly non-cling brand-named wrap.

I baked the dough as two separate entities, brought the lot to lunch and returned home with a full pizza. My Jack Skeleton mug makes the food looks evil, but it's pure goodness. Next morning I popped a couple lactose enzyme pills and overdosed on the cheesy for breakfast.

Why let the heat escape?

2010-04-29T22:52:00.003-04:00

If you order a hearty stew on a chilly day while sitting on a patio, you most certainly want it to be piping hot. Matter of fact, even on a boiling day I bet you want it hot. If you don't, you should! It's stew and it's supposed to be served hot.

So why serve this good beefy version in a shallow unheated dish that fails to retain the heat? It may be more visually pleasing, but it's not doing it's job if it's not warming me up. No knocks on the recipe (thought it required s&p.)

Good enough stew, no lack of giant tender chunks of beef, and you can find it at Heart & Crown. I might have it again!

Best Petite Bread Award

2010-04-27T20:09:00.007-04:00

I was out for a friend's birthday a while ago and we stopped by Maxwell's Bistro on Elgin where he was bound to bump into other friends. Half a beer and a couple conversations later, my friend asks "Hey, you hungry? Want some bread?" I'm not one to refuse food, but I hesitated just long enough for them to explain that his friend here Johnny Scratch is the chef, has quite the skills, and that I must try his bread.

I clung onto every word while the history of the bread was explained and ten seconds later a bun dropped into my outstretched hand. I was now holding the heaviest little piece of bread I'd ever seen. It looked like it was designed to soak up mean steak juices. I snapped a quick bad flash-lit pic and promptly ate.

I'll have you know, I can be far too enthusiastic when I talk about food (?), but it's not often that I get emotional about it. This did the trick, Johnny's Sweet Pepper Bread. It was dense yet retained the flaky flavorful honest to goodness quality of bread; it melted in my mouth and my taste-buds were instantly fist pumping each other. I almost cried! "That's a day old. You should try it when it's fresh."

I can remember the last time food affected me in such a way, (begin dream sequence) it was at Mary Mac's Tea Room in Atlanta after my first soul food experience, in April 2006.

So there is no actual award for the Best Petite Bread, but if there was it would be in the shape of a beating heart and it would go to Johnny's Sweet Pepper Bread.

"Does your whole family cook like that?"

2010-04-18T22:37:00.013-04:00

Yes. ..
From what I can remember of my early childhood, my parents were a little granola in their eating habits. Carob chip cookies were a regular occurrence and my first recollection of white sugar was when my grandma Thériault added it to my rice krispies & homogenized milk somewhere around the age of three. I loved going to both my grandparents, their traditional meals always ended in a confectionery sugar induced coma.

My father later remarried and suddenly we were six kids instead of three. We enlisted a daytime nanny for the better part of my youth, and she prepared dinner most nights and made fresh bread every Tuesday. She would usually make slow-cooker fare or root vegetables & meat, sometimes corned beef, all of which were seasoned well and tasted good, but when my dad prepared dinner the kitchen became an experimental culinary lab of unusual and tasty sorts. When I went to my mom's, her style was still very healthy, fresh grilled things tossed into a thin crepe, ending with gooey fruity desserts.

An endless story shortened, we had a very eclectic foodie background. (I tried meatloaf for the first time in my twenties, it was superb!) So this one's an ode to my extended family; my brothers and I definitely picked up on your cooking habits.

Here's what one of my brothers made for the family on Easter weekend, after we moved him and his gf into their new apartment.

Three hours of prep almost always yield a-m-a-z-i-n-g results. Glazed Easter bunny carbonara, and Macadamia nut crusted mahi-mahi over sauteed mushrooms and red peppers. The hunk of pasta on the left is the carbonara, which I'd be hard pressed to describe as anything but sublime.

The fish was perfect, but I was partial to the Easter bunny because it's slightly blasphemous and more so because I willingly ate those leftovers for three days. It had everything I shouldn't be eating, sour cream, cheese, sausage, blasphemous bunny, and more sour cream and cheese.

Next day he made spinach stuffed portabello mushrooms with Gruyère, fiddleheads my dad brought up from the Maritimes...

... and more bunny.

I didn't do much in the kitchen that weekend other than unpacking, prepping and hiding in the empty space where the dishwasher should be under the counter, then jumping out as soon as someone would dirty a glass. (That's my brother's joke, except in his version I was bone thin and had a bucket of fish heads to mow down.)

Even if I found Maple Cotton Candy at the grocery store while in Quebec City that weekend, my parting thoughts are all about the bunny.. you will not be forgotten roasty-bunny!

Egg Poaching vessels

2010-02-18T21:42:00.009-05:00

I was on the hunt for egg poachers for a while, but since I discovered the Saran Wrap method, I didn't see a need for them at all.

Here's how it's done:

You place a square piece of plastic Saran on a small pinch bowl or ramekin. Crack an egg into it. Gather the corners above the egg and tie with an elastic or twist tie. Poach in boiling water for 4 minutes. Remove from water, gently open the Saran and place the egg on your fancy sandwich bread.

Then one day not too long ago I ran out of 3$ Saran. Since this is pretty much the only thing I use it for (thanks to my arsenal of Tupperware), I thought of taking another look for egg poachers. It's not that I needed another one-use gadget, but I could see myself using this often; maybe it's usefulness was worth my 6$, so I bought two and started assembling.

You'll need:

eggs

green onions

bread

prociutto (or other meats if you dare, I added Montreal style oven roasted Turkey)

oilive oil

arugula

s&p

a good poaching method

and.. this recipe here.

Alright, alright, the poachers I purchased were 2$ each, plastic and they half-sank when I tossed them loaded with the egg in the simmering water; they immediately took on as much water as a paddle-boat on a stormy lake. The eggs tanked, basically.

My breakfast was tasty, but I prefer my poached eggs on the perfect side. Those darn plastic cheap poachers ruined it for me. They're so bad I can't find a picture of the product on Google. That's sayin' somethin'.

Should have gotten the poach pods. Or used Saran. Or my ramekins. Or a ladle.

Green Tuna Sammie

2010-01-24T21:58:00.004-05:00

Most folks put celery or green onions in their tuna sandwich for added crunch and flavor, but I'm partial to frozen peas. Why? They have a nice "pop" if you don't over cook them.

1 can of chunk tuna

1/2 cup of frozen peas

a pinch of fresh grated garlic

no fat mayo to taste

pepper

bacon salt

buns, lightly toasted

As an added bonus, I'll share this tidbit with you: The only way to eat Kraft Dinner is with a can of tuna and half a can of peas. Mmm.. I'm not kidding. And no ketchup unless you eat your KD straight up. Maybe it's nostalgia, it's how my dad made KD while we were growing up, but I've convinced at least one person of our delicious theory. I guess one person isn't very convincing at all.. Hmm.. But I'm telling you, and that should be enough.

Bacon Everything!

2010-01-24T20:31:00.004-05:00

Woohooooooooo! It was a long time coming, but I got my hands on some Bacon Salt seasoning, thanks to the boyfriend who gets 97% his giftmas presents at ThinkGeek.

I've been hearing for while that you can put it on everything to give it delicious fat free bacon flavoring and wow, I am discovering just how true that is. Of course you can top the obvious options, a baked potato, an egg sandwich (or any sandwich for that matter), omelette's, but it's amazing what bacon doesn't go with. Nothing.

I had a hankering for apples the other day. I cut it up into nice slices, turned around, and there it was, the Bacon Salt, looking at me. I had to do it.

Low and behold, it was quite delicious with a light dusting on my apple. Next time: Apples, 5 year old cheddar (which is lactose free) and bacon salt.

New Pho Bo Gaffe La

2010-01-18T00:41:00.005-05:00

For the record, I thoroughly enjoy Pho, especially the all mighty Pho battles that occur when people debate who makes the best in the city. Which is why I made a deal with the beau that if he was late for our dinner date, I would get to choose the restaurant in part 1 of Battle Pho.

New Pho Bo Ga La on Somerset was easily my top choice, it had been the locale of many delicious outings in the past. The pho was as I expected, delicious broth as always with fresh herbs and ingredients.

What I didn't expect, was the extremely off tasting sandy texture of the shredded pork rice rolls. Oh wow, what is IN it? Neither of us could stomach to finish one. The rice noodles were normal, the shredded pork was normal, the lettuce was normal, but mixed in was this ew flavored thing textured like sand. The delicious dipping sauce did nothing to improve the taste or dryness of the wrap. When we later asked what ingredients were in the roll other than noodles and pork, the only offered answer was "pork, shredded".

Yes, I get it, but how do you ask again, politely, for them to pinpoint what tastes so bad. We left it at that.

I realize the flavour of my rant may be that the specific ingredient was not to our liking. Since I've never had it before, it's entirely possible that it tasted "right" to other patrons. All I'm saying is that I wish I new what it was so I could properly avoid it in the future. I'll also stick with what I trust, their amazing rare beef pho soups.

Going Out on the Lamb

2009-11-17T23:09:00.005-05:00

Here's a little "things I don't feel like throwing to the ground anymore" haiku.

Made me hurl you did

Pickles mustard lamb and dill

Now I'll eat you all

Tonight, I finally conquered the last food item I disliked, lamb, thanks to the Southern Cross.

Yes, that's a picture of the ground.

Analytical Donairs

2009-10-14T23:17:00.015-04:00

I've been in Ottawa for a while now and haven't been blessed with the East Coast donair gods since the days when you could leisurely drive to Smith Falls, pick up some bulk chocolate at the Hershey factory and finish your drive with a stop at Pizza Delight. Once seated in the familiar environment we all grew up eating in, I'd order a Donair with extra donair sauce and garlic fingers to share, which also comes with donair sauce.

Gone are those days.. now they've shut down the Hershey factory *tear* and Pizza Delight *streaming tears of fury*, and I've been reduced to bi-yearly donair visitation rights when I go home to New-Brunswick. I hear the king of Donairs is, well, the King of Donair in Halifax, but I grew up swearing up and down Champlain St. that Pizza Delight's and Acadia Donair's version of the sauce was bar-none. It's all about the sauce topping the meat, tomatoes and onions, but here are a few key differences.

Pizza Delight's donair is piled high on a tough and chewy pizza dough and comes with a steak knife because frankly, it's unfold able and there's no other way to eat that bad boy.

Here's a close up for good measure.

The donair meat is crispy like crisp bacon, but cut too perfectly, like crisp chicken bacon, or as I call it, fakecon. Also note the iceberg lettuce which is atypical for donairs. Nonetheless, it's so tasty I refuse to order anything else from PD, including the world's best Caesar salad (ask a Maritimer), but not limited to Garlic Fingers. For the uninitiated, garlic fingers are pizza dough slathered in a supremely garlicky mélange and topped with oodles of cheesy goodness, then sliced into easily shareable rectangles about the width of two fingers.

Acadie Pizza's donairs can be gargantuan creations by a now famous local donair maker who's little restaurant has stood the test of time. Almost ousted from his location, fans now leave a token of appreciation, usually a hand written napkin note praising his efforts to stay open.

Pardon the blurred cell phone picture. This small version of the Halifax Donair also comes monstersized, which is not unlike the size of a football. No need to attempt a dripping disaster, you can also purchase extra pita bread and sauce, reconstructing the larger donair into about eight smaller ones. Trust me, it fed three and we had leftovers.

Enough about my history with East Coast Donairs.. I now bring you..

Halifax style Donairs in Ottawa!

Yes, the rumors are true, Centretown Resto Bar on Bronson St. makes fabulous donairs with East Coast (ie Halifax) style donair sauce, or the closest thing I've found to it in O-ttown..

Their donairs come in small or large, you can pick up, get delivery or eat in and watch the game. I don't care how you get yours, but consider running. Don't forget extra napkins on your way out.

Food notes from abroad..

2009-10-14T22:40:00.006-04:00

I recently received the first e-mail from a friend who has left Canada in search of a lengthy world experience. For a non-foodie friend who used to eat spaghetti 7 days out of seven, he wrote of such vigorous food thoughts that I could not mask my surprise at his bold statements and asked if I could post his message.

Such, his journey begins in New Zealand..

"So I've beem here 9 days now. On day 4, I met a British guy that wasn't really a foodie but was accustomed to eating good meals in his family. He asked me what I thought of the food here in NZ. I hadn't really thought about it too hard. I'd only tasted a few things. I shrugged and said it's alright. He said he thought it was bad. Just bad. Like everything tastes slightly different, but in a bad way. Since he said that, I started noticing it everywhere. I've hardly had a good meal. I've purchased a few meals that looked amazing but turned out to be mediocre or even just plain bad. What's the concensus among foodies? Is NZ known for bad food? What doesn't taste like shit here?

Thanks,"

Uhm, bold statement, P. Since I haven't traveled there I don't have an opinion, but surely it's not ALL bad, right? Must have tapped into his foodie sense, so far I've received nothing but food related e-mails, all escalating in hilarity and sounding more and more like a cry for help. I'll try and find you something.

Big Banana Ice Cream Fail

2009-10-05T22:46:00.005-04:00

I was quite shocked to hear that crushing frozen bananas in a blender could make one ingredient creamy ice cream, according to the Kitchn.

Probably so, just as long as you're using a food processor that was manufactured post the 1980 date and that you have not used it to chop endless amounts of basil right prior to it's current use. Both cause my ice cream's demise.

For starters it was too dry so I added a bit of water & yogurt. (I blame that on my processor.) The texture improved, but there's just no way to hide basil in banana!

Can you imagine that I couldn't bring myself to throw this horrible mistake? It's still in my freezer, yet I wouldn't even feed it to a cat. Well.. I would, but only so I could find out if cats make the same bitter-faces that I make.

It's not that hard you guys.. it's just Reese's..

2009-10-01T23:26:00.011-04:00

I had a hankering for peanut butter cups over the last Christmas holiday back home, which is pretty surprising considering I made ten varieties of cookies over two weeks, as well as truffle coated cherries (which the dog ate in it's entirety). So there I am, staring at my dad's extensive pantry, wondering if it's possible to make these little poppers.

Chocolate coating in little cups: doable with melted Callebaut chocolate disks and mini foil cups, both of which I had on hand. But.. what's in a Reese's peanut butter cup.. what's in the middle? Crisp and sweet, it can't just be PB. Let's ask Google.. a two second search tells me it's... wait for it... graham cracker crumbs! (gasp!) The stars had aligned in my father's kitchen, ingredients were on hand with my incurable craving. I was on a mission without a recipe.

what you'll need (I heart Bulk Barn):

Callebaut chocolate
graham cracker crumbs

tiny foil cups

peanut butter

First, I assembled endless mini foil cups on a baking sheet and refrigerated it, as to not give away what I was doing should anyone pop into my kitchen-lab.

Next, I melted little Callebaut chocolate disks on a makeshift double boiler. (A metal bowl placed over a pot of simmering water.)

Then I lined the cups with chocolate by dropping in a little spoonful, twirling and spreading it as necessary until the bottom and sides were thinly covered, and popped them into the refrigerator until hardened.

Meanwhile, I melted the pb and added crumbs until it was thick, but not instant-cookie thick. (ftw are instant cookies...) I kept in mind that pb will eventually harden, rendering my lil concoction to a paste like consistency wrapped in a thin hard cocoa shell. To prevent a dry mixture once hard, it needed a proper balance of crumbs. It's a bloody guessing game folks. Taste it in the process. Spoon into the lil cups, leaving enough room for a thin chocolate coating. Refrigerate until hard.

Melt more chocolate, yada yada yada, apply thin coat to the top of cups, and why haven't I posted a single picture yet. Refrigerate.

They're done when they feel cold and hard. I kept them in the fridge until an hour before serving them, thus protecting them from the choc eating German pointer beast.

He's in fact a super nice dog... as sweet as these homemade PB cups which the friends called "more addicting than the real thing". And there you have it, bite marks and all.

Red Wine and Pasta, together at last

2009-09-30T21:05:00.014-04:00

The Italians have it right. I wanted to start this post with that sentence but really, it's care of some Serious Eats newsletter that I bring you this best week's recipe from that week long long ago, a recipe for Spaghetti All'Ubriaco, which they tell me is Italian for drunken spaghetti.. Yes! Spaghetti cooked in a mixture of half red wine and half water, then splashed with extra wine right at the end (among other added things).

Rrrrrrrrrrr....

I was so intrigued by the recipe and inspired by the poster's enthusiasm that when I got home after work the same day, looked at that whole wheat spaghetti displayed in this glass jar on my fridge, and this leftover wine I had on that there counter, it was a no-brainer.. I needed to combine this and that and check out what the fuss was all aboot.

I'm terrible at following recipes, I most always meddle and fix it to my liking, as is the case with the linked recipe.

2 cups water

2 cups drinkable cheap red wine, plus 1/4 cup, reserved/separated

2 person portion of whole wheat pasta (kamut, spelt are healthy too. I estimate, sorry! Maybe I need this spaghetti measuring tool to crowd up my gadget drawer.)

1 leek, thinly sliced

1 large garlic clove, sliced

2 tbsp fresh parsley (I was out)

1 tbsp butter

olive oil on hand for splashing (in the dish, eh)

Start by lightly caramelizing the leeks in a bit of olive oil. Not sure how? Caramelizing happens when cooking something over low heat for a long time. This brings out the sweet nutty flavour of certain foods, so toss the leeks in a splash of olive oil big enough to coat but not drown, and let them sit over low heat in a pan until they change color and become increasingly delicious. Set aside, and by aside I don't mean in your mouth, not yet.

Oh... they were so plentiful before... caramelization: size < flavour.

Boil the liquids, add pasta and cook al dente, stirring often. Meanwhile, brown the sliced garlic in another splash of olive oil and the butter.

Drain the liquid into a bowl, marvel at the beauty of your cooked pasta, add the 1/4 cup of wine to the garlic in the pan, plus a generous portion of the red water. Turn up the heat so the mixture starts simmering, add the al dente pasta, the caramelized leeks and parsley, and toss the pan around until the liquid is absorbed.

Done! Add some shredded/grated cheese if you like. As usual, I did not.

Tv chefs have taught me that cooking alcohol abolished the alcohol content, but according to serious studies, alcohol added to a mixture and boiled for 15 minutes retains 40% of its alcohol content; another prime example that you can't believe everything you see on tv. With this newfound knowledge, I've decided this is one dish I'll be happy not to share with kids.

Taste? A tastesplosion in a major way.

This presentation has been brought to you by this wine and that pasta.

Cutting the Grapefruit.

2009-09-18T20:36:00.003-04:00

I was editing a small video I made about cutting grapefruit a while ago, and after a hour of reading and an hour of practicing with Adobe Premiere, I saved my project. When I tried opening the wrong saved file, my computer wouldn't recognize the file type. Thinking I did something wrong and too tired to care, I went to bed and forgot about it. Until I stumbled on it today.

That being said, I love stumbling on things, especially when it's something I made and didn't know I had, like this video here.

What to do with pinch bowls?

2009-09-16T21:58:00.007-04:00

The topic of pinch bowls came up today, or more like "what to do with pinch bowls". In reality, what can't you do with these cute silicone bowls. I purchased eight last year when Domus (the closest kitchen supply store) had a massive 40% sale. As you may know, I'm a bit of a condiment fan; they've come in handy when I want to have six different sauces for my plate of McCain low fat fries or when I'm pre-measuring spices.

What other uses could they have? I wasn't aware how minuscule small eggs could get until I saw these, care of the dude who picked them out of the grocery refrigerator...

... and now I'm wondering if I could use my pinch bowls to poach these teeny eggs, instead of getting one of the poachers I've been debating over.

The poaching idea: to be continued..

We Now Interrupt For This Special Public Service Announcement..

2009-09-15T00:01:00.009-04:00

When removing roasted almonds or cookies from an oven always use both hands to lift the pan out of the oven and both hands to close the oven door. DO NOT try to open, remove with one hand and close with the other simultaneously. This will not, I repeat, will not work in your favor.

"If fooled, you can't get fooled again..."

WRONG! As the saying goes, Fool me once, shame on you, pan. Fool me twice, shame on me.. in the shape of a burnt almond ouchie.

"How the frak do you burn yourself twice roasting almonds??"

I've been asking myself the same question, twice a day, which is how often I change my arm bandage. It's been three weeks. Lesson learned, ok?

Food Monstar's Fruity Fruity Coconut Almond Oatmeal Cookies!

2009-09-14T22:52:00.012-04:00

Today, I accidentally mixed up my Extra Strength Cold & Sinus Day pills for the nighttime ones. Gah!

No matter though, the great part of today was watching your friends and co-workers anihalate your the little baked labour of love cookies that you spend a couple hours slaving away over the day before while enjoying your first day of the real NFL season (even if Farve defected).

I originally made this recipe last Christmas, when I baked ten different variety of cookies, packed them all up into their own suitcase (there were that many) and hauled them back home for the holidays. These suckers stayed moist and chewy unrefrigerated for two weeks. Ok, in reality it was three, but in case I'm liable for the well being of my readers, I'll protect you and say two. Refrigirated if you must. (Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.)

Quit stallin', me. Here's the recipe which I found via some magical google search for oatmeal and coconut cookies and which I can no longer find a link for. All I know is that I found, I switcherooed two items, and ta-da...

the Food Monstar's Fruity Fruity Coconut Almond Oatmeal Cookies!

3 cups oatmeal flour (process Oatmeal/Quick Oats in blender/food processor until pulverized)

1/2 cup whole weat or all purpose flour

1 cup brown sugar (packed)

1 tbsp baking powder

1 tsp salt (optional) (why do recipes say optional?? I forgot to add it this time, but I'd usually straddle the optional line and put half in.)

1 cup toasted almonds, chopped (don't know how? raw alonds can be toasted at 350ish for about 8-10 minutes on a cookie sheet. They're ready when they have browned and smell delicious. Remove from oven, let cool.)

1 cup finely chopped dried fruits (mango, papaya, apricots, maybe kiwi, think about adding raisins and Thor will get you then and there. NO RAISINS!!!)

4 tbsp water

2 tsp vanilla extract

1/2 cup honey

16oz. can of crushed pineapple, partially drained

Wait, what? No butter? No. No butter. Here's how it all comes together.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

In a large bowl, combine dry ingredients.

In a blender, mix water, vanilla, honey and pineapple.

Add to dry ingredients, mix until combined.

Drop by spoonfuls onto parchement lined cookie sheet. Cookies retain their shape when baking, so try to spread them pretty flat.

Bake for 14 minutes, remove from oven, yada yada yada the whole cookie cooling spiel. (Let sit for a few minutes on the pan and transfer to cookie cooling rack.) Reapeat!

These babies will not brown so much, please don't attempt to burn them. They're deceivingly delicious! Try them! The masses agree!

..And by masses I mean the friends that I begged to eat these. "I don't know.." some skeptically said.. then they went back for thirds and there were none. Ha! That'll teach em.

The marvels of Pita Pizza

2009-09-07T14:25:00.006-04:00

Have I never posted anything about my staple summer food? Pita Pizza can be whipped up in a matter of minutes, fill you up with fresh summer seasonal ingredients without weighing you down. No more excuses to head outdoors and enjoy what Ottawa seems to be calling it's summer special:"SUMMER SPECIAL, BACK FOR ONE WEEK ONLY, ENJOY IT WHILE YOU CAN."

Pita sandwiches are good, but I prefer to lay it flat, use pizza sauce instead of mayo and bake it for 10 minutes in the oven. It's fantastic for those 'use what's left in the fridge' days.

In this edition:

Medium pita bread, sprayed on the underside with PAM or olive oil. If you're daring, sprinkled with garlic salt or your favorite spice combo.

Top with:

Pizza sauce

Deli turkey, prociutto & roast beef

Asperagus & green beens

Fresh parsley

Garlic, pepper, red pepper flakes

Add cheese at your own risk.

Assemble, carefully pop it in the oven directly on the rack at 375F, and remove once the pita bread has hardened enough to support the weight of the pizza, and veggies and meats have grilled.

Très simple!

Also good for breakfast, topped with thin fried omelette instead of veggie/meat.

All hail Japanese snacks!

2009-09-02T19:13:00.020-04:00

Sometime (immediately) after BC came back from a month long stint in Japan many years ago, my world of snack knowledge expanded exponentially to include all things Japanese. Suddenly I knew that Pocari Sweat was not something you expel from your body after a mean run, Pocky was not the name for the sound Pilsbury Doughboy makes and that rice chips were no longer something my dad used to purchase at Bulk Barn.

Pocky was the instant hit for me; a thin bread stick coated with chocolate, and better yet, with dozens of simple and fancy varieties. I simply could not get enough. I tried every new flavour I laid eyes on, almost obsessively so, until the day I could no longer eat the white stuff (milk). That's about when I discovered Pretz.

Sure, chocolate is RAD, small portions of cookie-type bread stick covered in flavourful chocolate and sometimes nuts or swirls is RAD, but most often, milk chocolate are used and therefore forbidden. I had seen Pretz lying around the same section of the Asian grocery markets I visited, but with flavours like Tomato, Salad and Roast, I was not tempted. I mean, Roast flavour?? Is that beefy? chicken? pork? miscellaneous? What? OK, fine, what the heck, I caved for the roast flavour. It was delicious in fact, not at all something my grandmother would make. Wiki describes it as "butter, honey and coffee". Who wouldn't like that!? I was sold and became a Pretz convert there on after.

Here are the recent additions to my Pocky/Pretz collection:

Beer Pretz (Spicy Chicken) was good, but not all that finger lickin' good. Not a substitute. Should have been called "flavourful flavour".

Curry flavour!! So delish. I drop this one in a cup with the next flavour and roll the dice of flavours when I randomly grab one from the cup.

Corn flavour!!!! My number one. As my brother once said when he tasted it: "What the hell? It tastes exactly like corn." That's right, juicy, buttery, salted corn without the stuck bits in your teeth. Warning: Highly Addictive.

Mmmm.. Cappuccino? Or is that Double Double? At any rate, it was creamy goodness packed with the devil food (milk).

Blueberry Pocky!

Chocolate Banana Pocky! *the unfancy kind.

Honey & Milk Pocky!

Morning Time Pocky! Cornflakes, milk & yogurt, blueberry chips. In my top five.

Pumpkin flavour! Not so yum. Tasted like staleness dipped in honey. Too sweet, not enough spice and pie flavour. The worst. I mean it.

The long time sandwich

2009-08-24T22:31:00.001-04:00

I attempted a fancy version of an after-swim meal on Friday, to be had before our actual swim. This crickety fancy sammich took way hey hey too long. I mean: two hours for cut up veggies, corn on the cob, a limp version of my sweet potato fries with garlic fakeaoli, and fancy nine ingredient sandy*? That is just nuts.

At least it was tasty.

1 large italian foccacia from La Botega, cut open and divided into three long sections.
in layers from bottom to top:
dijon
smoked turkey
thinly sliced tomatoes
spicy Nicastro's eggplants, lightly rinsed once and squeezed of excess oil/water.
poorly julienned carrots (julienne peeler=bad)
boston lettuce
finely grated old cheddar (lactose free as always)
S&P
mayo
Close sandwich, half, mangiare!

*Why call sandwiches sammies? Why not Sandies?

Corny Egg Sandwich

2009-08-19T23:25:00.005-04:00

It's corn boil season folks, and I've just about had my fill. So what does one do with excess amounts of freshly cooked Peaches 'n Cream corn on the cob? Toss it in everything. Especially that egg salad pita sandwich you're craving. What? Nobody craves that? I'm answering my own questions now? I crave that, and yes, I also answer myself, much to everyone's annoyance.

The Food Monstar's Corny Egg Salad Sandwich
2 soft boiled eggs
1 cooked and cooled corn on the cob
1 juicy tomato
1 generous tbsp low-fat mayo (I choose no-fat Miracle Whip, I know it's not mayo)
1 tsp whole-grain dijon
1 - 2 tbsp finely chopped chives
2 tbsp finely grated old cheddar (lactose free for me)

freshly cracked black pepper
salt
dash of cayenne
dash of parsley

How to:
There are so many ways to cook eggs; I gently place eggs with a slotted spoon in boiling water for 7 minutes. If they happen to crack (I hate that), quickly take them out and rub with a lemon wedge all over, it'll seal the cracks.
If you're super fast you can prepare the rest of the ingredients in the time the eggs cook. I cannot, so I prepped.
Chop tomato, mix in a dash of salt, cracked pepper, and parsley.
Remove corn from cob by cutting with a sharp knife, cob standing up, from top to bottom. (insert pretend illustration here)
Chop the chives, grate the cheese.

OH! What's that challenger? You thought you could prep in time eh? Tick tock tick tock.. Seven minutes are up!! Quickly remove the eggs with slotted spoon and run under cold water to stop them from cooking.
Crack the shell by tapping it on the counter, cracking the whole surface of the egg, it makes it easier to peel if you're one of those guys who thinks the only thing they can cook is eggs, when in fact, they stuggle with even that. :P Also, I said "tapping" not "smashing" the egg on the counter. Nobody likes shell-surprise in their sandwich.
Mush the egg with a fork in a bowl, incorporate the mayo and mustard grains. Add tomato, corn, chives, cheese, more pepper and cayenne.

Spoon into your favorite bread. I used a lebanese pita and it filled both sides nicely. Might be enough for two regular bread sammies if you're a light eater and feel like sharing, or one helfty sandwich if you eat like me. (I eat like me.)

Oh.. if only I had Baconnaise!!!!!!!

A boiled frosting haiku

2009-08-17T23:04:00.005-04:00

-- Fourteen Years Ago

I last ate you nostalgic

Boiled Frosting. Yum. --

That's the sorriest excuse for a haiku I've written, but it brings up a good point. Why aren't we eating more Boiled Frosting?

That light and sweet sticky frosting has been out of my life sinceI outgrew my nanny, or at least that's the last time I reall eating it.. until this past weekend. Queue heavenly gates opening and birthday boy's mom depositing this creation within reach of my needy index finger who was internally crying out for me to shout BLOW OUT THE CANDLE. CUT THE CAKE so I can take the plunge into your snowy caps already! "I want YOU!!", just like Veruca Salt begged in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

Thankfully I've learned to control these sticky urges by keeping my finger on the shutter button until it's safe to eat without looking like Cookie Monster prior to his "cookies are a sometimes food" days.

How could I have forgotten about this purer than snow white frosting? These tastesbuds shall never forget again.

Hamburger Cupcakes!!

2009-07-26T22:24:00.008-04:00

I read Serious Eats daily, so last week after following a link from Serious Eats to this Flickr photo set about how to make good looking cheeseburger cupcakes, I had my heart set on these trompe l'oeil burg bites hitting my stomach, like now.

I was planning on making them for a certain event on August 14th, but when he mentioned his love of cheesecakes I decided to bake these little bundles of cheesy joy for my own birthday on the 8th instead. But wait, the 8th was a couple weeks away.. the urgency to try a new recipe set in.. what if they don't turn out? Might as well have a trial run, it could even coincide with my work-friends b-days.. yes.. those are proper excuses for cupcake mania. Let's begin..

Bake Duncan Hines French Vanilla cake in muffin pans as per instructions, helped by loads of butter-PAM spray.
Repeat with Swiss Chocolate extra moist cake.
Slice the little white cupcakes in half, like a hamburger bun.
Repeat with Choco cake.
Add food coloring to Duncan Hines cream cheese frosting (this is a cheeseburger after all). You'll need loads of yellow coloring, and a couple drops of red. I aimed for a Cheez Whiz color instead of the neon American Cheese.
After softening, spread gently over Chocolate cupcake tops.
Add a skinny dribbly line of red icing in a tube.
Start layering and assembling as such, from top to bottom:

White cupcake top
Chocolate cupcake top, frosting side up
Dab of frosting (should be invisible once assembled, just so the layers stick to eachother)
White cupcake bottom.

Once assembled, pastry-brush a few drops of OJ on the top of the cupcakes and sprinkle a few sesame seeds. The seeds won't affect the taste if you're worried.

Four hours later..

I might have been talking about these for a couple days non-stop, but the look on people's faces as they inspected them was unsurpassed. "Who brought in a tray of burgers to the office?" "They look.. so... REAL!"

Clearly I have a thing for burgers, but I never expected these to have such a far-reach. One co-worker took some to her kids, two others to their boyfriends, this dude took some to his friends and some other friends shared one while I took pictures of the ketchup dribbling action.

Taste? Like cake, nothing unusual. The mind-trick took the whole experience to a new level. I've finally found a food that makes everyone as excited and smiley as I get when I talk about food. I've had a perma-smile since, at least half of it caused my the burgers. ;)

The rest of the Food Pourin' shots:

If only I could be a Serious Eats correspondant...

2009-07-09T13:14:00.007-04:00

Here's an homage to the Serious Eats profiles. If only..

Name: M. aka The Food Monstar Location: Canada
Occupation: T.A., full time eat monster

Guilty pleasures? the reaction people have to succulent or shocking food, dissecting fruit, Japanese Pretz, the first bite of a burger.

Describe your perfect meal. A pot of coffee, asparagus eggs Benedict poached medium with a side of Broadway's garlic-onion homefries, with a side of Mole Enchiladas. No room for dessert.
What food won't you eat? the dreaded combo of dill & vinegar, I also despise bitting into a piece of fat.

What would you like to try but haven't yet? Kobe beef.

Favorite food persons? George Motz for opening my eyes with his documentary "Hamburger America", and Ed Levine for giving foodies everywhere a place to call home (page).

When did you first realize you were a serious eater? When people started inviting me to parties and events just for the food.

What do your family and friends think of your food obsessions? They've learned to wait until I've taken a photo before diving into a dish; they all think it's rather neat-slash-annoying that I have a foodie obsession.

Favorite food sites or blogs? Serious Eats, A Hamburger Today, This is Why You're Fat, Cake Wrecks, Amateur Gourmet, The Kitchn

Everyone has a go-to person they call for restaurant recommendations. Who's yours? the Ottawa Foodies website.

What is your favorite meal of the day and where do you get it? Breakfast at Broadway's (those homefries!) or StoneFace Dolly's for their Eggs Benedict with Lemon Diablo Hollandaise sauce.

Do you ever cook? What's the best dish you make? Yes, I make the best chili you've ever had.

Seattle's Best!

2009-06-07T21:51:00.003-04:00

If Seattle is famous for something other than rain, it's fish tossing and coffee. Seattleites love their coffee, which is not surprising considering it's the home base of Starbucks and my long time favorite, Seattle's Best.

Originally roasted on Pier 70 by one man who converted a peanut roasting plant into a coffee roasterie, the brand is still considered a favorite amont locals with it's uncharacteristically smooth finish. It was voted in a blind taste test as Seattle's best cup of coffee, and I'd be hard pressed to dissagree. If I was lucky enough to know someone traveling to the West Coast, I'd get a bag of their beans imported once a year.

It felt like a right of passage into the coffee world when I finally made it to a Seattle's Best coffee shop myself, thanks to a front desk agent at the Marriott who mapped out the nearest location for my morning fix. I grabed a freshly brewed cup of their Seattle's Best Blend, all the while raving to my dad about the charmingly smooth taste, ordered a bag of vaccum sealed ground beans to take home and sat down in the all-red café to enjoy the perfect cup. My head was spinning; this is one cupe of joe capable of clearing rainy skies.

Another accomplishment checked off my list of food related travel goals.

Someone said never to eat half price seafood..

2009-05-01T22:37:00.010-04:00

Seattle.. such a beautifully cold and damp city in the late winter, colder than Vancouver on that night in fact. My father and I had high hopes knowing Seattle's affinity for fresh seafood, we weren't going to give up our hunt for the sea fare until we found something acceptable, but at 9p on a Sunday night, it was slim pickings.

We walked for blocks around Pike Place Market, then down towards the waterfront boardwalk.. finally we asked a smoking Red Robin employee (ciggies, not smoking hot) who tried to convince us to eat there. His friend had the good sense to direct us towards Ivan's, one of the only open eateries, but a long standing one (since 1938).

Seeking warmth, a loo and a drink, we nearly ran in. As if she was whispering messages from the heavens, an angel informed us that it was half price happy hour in the bar area for food AND drinks. Huh?All we heard was half price and we jumped on board. It took us 1.3 minutes to pick a drink, then we reveled at the small and varied bar menu, incredibly, all available at half price. What had we eaten that day? Coffee, more coffee, a nut bar, maybe an orange, and Taco Time some seven hours prior. We were hungry.

Here's a couple shots of the bar menu.
What did we have other than beer & wine?
My dad's order..
Alaskan Seafood Chowder: Alaskan halibut, wild salmon, prawns and hardwood smoked bacon, by far the best chowder my dad said he's ever had, that's some fifty odd years!
and also Blackened Salmon Caesar Salad:
I opted for something a little zanier...
Roasted Red & Yellow Beet Salad:
I don't know what it is about beets, it certainly isn't Dwight from the Office who's help them become more popular, but I'm really into beets these days. This salad of well cooked and cooled beet slices topped with organic arugula, a tangy sweet pomegranate vinaigrette and Gorgonzola crouton (essentially a homemade crostada with cheese) was divine. If I knew, I would have ordered three of these instead of adding an entrée.
Blackened True Cod Tacos:
Lime cilantro creme fraiche, shredded napa cabbage, avocado and roasted tomato salsa.
Since they were my first fish tacos, I have nothing to compare this dish to. On it's own, the cod was alright, but I didn't appreciate a smothering amount of creme fraiche, it didn't jive well with the whole taco vibe. The tomato salsa was missing, and I couldn't figure out if the pom. vinaigrette was for the chips or the tacos. Nonetheless, it was the only thing with much taste on the plate, so I used it for both. I guess I expect tacos to have a real flavorful spice to them. Maybe they thought it would overwhelm the cod, but in any case, the blackening was simply not enough. Just because you can wrap it in a tortilla, doesn't mean you can call it a taco... right?
I can't blame them for the poor conception of my dish, I kind of always knew that I would never be into fish tacos at all, no matter what kind of dressing it was tossed in.

Overall, even if I thought the tacos could use a few pointers, we were both pleased enough that we would have left Ivar's happy had we had to pay full price. I can only imagine the high scores on the tasty scale of their full menu.

Lose weight, eat fast food!

2009-04-26T08:13:00.014-04:00

What better way to lose weight than to eat take out? For the folks out there who couldn't throw a healthy meal together if it came pre-packaged in a bag, (i.e. salad) so it's only smart to offer healthier alternatives at fast food joints. Get in line for Taco Time's Fit Hit bowls.

At 266 calories and a measly 1g of fat, this is such a hearty option that I not once envied my dad's burrito + taco and side combo.

What seems like a small portion of Mexican rice is smothered in cooked black beans, corn, fresh lettuce, loads of tomatoes, carrots, red cabbage, diced red onions, and cilantro.

What about a salad dressing you say? The delicious flavoring of the Mexican rice only needs a dab of spicy salsa, ever so conveniently placed where any other Mickey D's would keep the ketchup, in pumps!

It's not that I'm counting the cals here, but this was so fresh, filling, tasty and satisfying, that I'd easily eat this on a weekly basis... if only we had Taco Time North of the border! This one was spotted near Everett, Washington, on the way to the Boeing Assembly factory.

Sous-shi on Robson St

2009-04-19T21:58:00.006-04:00

I arrived in Vancouver on a Saturday night, met up with my dad, went straight for the Listel Hotel (1300 Robson st.), which is quite the gem, and walked up Robson in search of some great sushi spot. After walking by Korean BBQ, Ramen counters, and packed sushi Zagat rated restaurants, we settled for a generic but cute all you can eat sushi spot. Ok ok, we have them in O-ttown too, but something about a happy hour sushi buffet in Vancouver and starting our trip on a full stomach appealed to us.

There aren't many things I enjoy deep fried and battered, but yam tempura is one of them. This one however, was too greasy, drippy even, and had that Bart rubs Homer's burger on the wall at Krusty's which turns it see-through and ok's it as being fatty enough kind of quality to it. The spinach salad pictured on top was delicious with it's peanut flavored sauce, but could have come in a larger format that a table spoons worth in a dipping bowl.

The sashimi was fresh tasting (don't be fooled by the oversaturation in this picture, I edited on the fly.)

The nigiri had too much rice, which is common for buffets, but alas, filling and fresh tasting enough for a late night meal.

The maki was plain despite it's pretty appearance.

And the scallops looked disgusting baked in a dish of creamy sauce and cheddar. I wasn't about to commit hara-kiri with this lactose and fat injection.

Overall, we left full and underwhelmed. The buffet served it's purpose, we had tons of fish on the cheap, but it was so not memorable I didn't jot down it's name. If you're walking up past 1300 on Robson and you see a sweet looking buffet open late on a Saturday night with not many people inside, it's probably worth skipping. The menu was small, but at least the Japanese plum wine was plentiful.

Tasty Travels: West Coast without a plan

2009-04-19T21:29:00.005-04:00

The Tasty Traveler went out on multiple missions recently and came back with a world of tales. I booked a last minute road trip for my dad and I from Vancouver to Southern California for a couple weeks. Without too much time to plan, eateries weren't meticulously mapped out as they often are during my trips, but I had an idea Vancouver would have sushi, Portland - beer, Seattle - fresh seafood, the wine valley - fresh veggies (and wine), So-Cal - mexican and the only must have, Inn & Out Burger.

"What, no picture?"

Omnivorassious

2008-09-24T22:29:00.007-04:00

Ugh. This list keeps popping up and around the food blog world and it's sad that I'm using it as a post as it feels like those stupid chain emails everyone keeps forwarding me. Nothing bad will happen to you if you don't answer this for yourself and forward it to your grandma's neighbor's little cousin's cuddle buddy. It's a collection of foods you're "supposed to eat before you die". Let's pretend it was created by someone great and not with a lack of tastes buds, because some of these items are questionable! What, Kopi Luwak didn't make the list?

Here's what I've had so far, in bold.

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue (never! Can you imagine? I’ve had chocolate or broth fondues, but never of the cheese variety.)
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi (dry curried veggies, typically cauli & potatoes)
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper (NOT pleasant!! The oil stayed on my fingers for a couple days.. try putting contacts in without using your fingers.. yeah. Ow in more ways that on the tongue.)
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O shot
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Single malt whisky
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin (Yes, I’ve eaten paper! But seriously? I could think of better food items to put on this list that Kaolin.)
64. Currywurst
65. Durian (where can you get these here, and who can I offend with the smell? Durian candy count?)
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee
100. Snake

Pure goodness shall prevail!

2008-09-22T23:35:00.006-04:00

What better way to be back from the blogging grave than revived by my own wings, feathery light, stretching far and lifting me up with one swift gust of cakey breath.

So what if you can't cook, wow yourself by buying some pre-made angel food cake (it's milk-free!) and ice cream.

Slice the cake horizontally with a bread knife in as many delicate layers as you can.
Cream the ice cream (Soy Delicious Mint Chocolate swirl in my case) until it feels like soft serve. (not punny!)
Spread a thin layer of soft serve between each spongy cake layers. If you think this recipe's too simple, baste each layer with coffee before you spread the ice cream on the cake.
Refreeze, about 20 minutes if you can manage to wait that long you ogre! Then tell me if you ate it with a fork or sandwich style.

...
I can hear the pearly white gates open.. someone's knocking on MY door for some food porn. No, this is not my sign off, it's a sign-on! Food Monstar's back with her Food Pourin', witches!

La meilleur recette de choufleur au monde - Lemon Honey Basil Pesto Roasted Cauliflower

2008-06-17T00:09:00.005-04:00

Une grosse tête de choufleur nettoyé, enlève toute la verdure

Drizzle 1 cuil. à table d'huile d'olive sur le choufleur

Couvre le choufleur avec 1/2 cuil. à thé de sel

Met le rack dans le milieu et préchaufe le four à 450°F, graisse le fond d'un plat peu profond en vitre, corningware ou en metal avec du spray PAM.
Cuit le choufleur pendant 1h à 1h15mins, jusqu'a ce que le tout soit TRES doré (brun et pétillant) et cuit au complete si tu y entre un couteau jusqu'au centre.

Entre temps, prépare la sauce suivante pour ajouter sur le dessus du choufleur une fois cuit:

1/4 tasse huile d'olive

1 grosse cuil. à soupe de pesto au basil

2 cuil. à thé de miel

une pincé d'épices à steak

une grosse pincé d'épices au citron sans sel (No Salt Lemon Shake dans la sections des épices, assez pour que le goût de citron ressorte juste un peu) ou environ une cuil. à table de jus de citron frais et 1 cuil. à thé de zest de citron.

Mélange le tout avec une fourchette. Ajoute un peu d'huile si c'est trop épais. Goute. Drizzle presque le tout délicatement sur le choufleur et le restant dans l'assiete sur le choufleur coupé en fleurets.

MANGE, donc.

Ain’tchyougladas Plagiarized

2008-05-28T15:52:00.011-04:00

"Modifying two ingredients in a recipe someone told you where to find does not make it your own."

"I dunno though, I think it does! The recipe uses cheese and olives, whereas I do not, plus I’m the one making it.. therefore it’s mine! No?"

I thought this was church boy's secret recipe, but his secret became my not-so-secret, he found the recipe online with his mad skills. Props.

Epicurious.
Search: Chicken Enchiladas

Sort by fork rating.

Click the first link.

Make the recipe accordingly without the olives and cheese. (Olives aren’t Mexican and I can’t eat cheese.)

Sauce.
This is not shredded boiled chicken as it asks in the recipe. I cooked the chicken as the recipe asked on Thursday but I didn't get to make the enchiladas until Monday after a totally unrelated incident in which I got violently ill from bad lunch soup from Moulin de Provence in the market. I didn't want to take a chance with my pre-cooked chicken that seemed a little pink so I got a cooked rotisserie chicken which no doubt made this recipe extra terrible. And by terrible I mean delicious. Look at how it glistens.
Mix le all INCLUDING the onions... otherwise the onions magically turn blue, something which the next pic may or may not indicate well, but I have a witness!!
Mexican is my favorite of all the ethnic food groups and this tastes pretty authentic to me. So good I ate them everyday and only 2 in a sitting in order to prolong them, which is incredibly hard for someone who eats as much as me! Looks like I didn't have to share my leftovers with friends after all. I hear they prefer pitas anyhow.

Forbidden Rice Krispies

2008-05-14T23:36:00.005-04:00

You've gotta love grocery shopping in the States if you're into sugary snacks.

I was always into the plain old-style cereal like wheatabix and plain Shredded Wheat, but luckily my sister's fondness for Fruit Loops and Cap'n Crunch changed my views. Mmm.. sweet syrupy leftover milk.. best after a bowl of Alphabits or Honeycombs (Honeycomb's BIG, ya ya ya, it's not small, ...). Before that, the only sugary cereal I remember was at my grandparents house. My dad's mom kept a heavy stash of Strawberry Shortcake cereal that turned your milk strawberry flavored neon pink (my favorite discontinued cereal to this day), and my mom's mom made sure my cereal was bad underneath the surface. She'd always use 3.5% milk and put at least two spoonfuls of sugar with those Rice Krispies.. maybe that's why I was a quiet kid the rest of the time, not much sugar!!

The best cereal I could find after my childhood was in France. My host family didn't think I liked any of their weird yummy food so they kept whipping out these chocolate items, and out cam the chocolate Rice Krispies that transform your milk into chocolate milk. They combined the loud cereal every kid likes with the magic bunny power of Quik! That moment was seared into my memory and I I found them one day in the States.. along with a berry flavoured version. Mmmm..
I treasured them for so long they're now expired. argh.

Fennel IS Anise Salad

2008-05-11T23:32:00.009-04:00

I have a soft spot for good service, which is why I'll gladly walk all the way to Produce Depot to get my groceries if weather permits. Were else would a stocker offer tips on how to eat that exotic fruit you're holding, wondering how to even tell if it's ripe?

Once a week they send me an e-mail explaining the health benefits of a certain produce item, how to prepare it, and a simple recipe showcasing the item in question.

Here's their modified Fennel Salad recipe:
1 large fennel bulb, trimmed and julienned
the same amount of mixed baby greens, torn into bite size pieces. Bite size, people!
1 cucumber, halved lengthwise, seeded, thinly sliced
1 celery stalk, thinly sliced
1 green onion, can you guess, thinly sliced
Doesn't-stay-good-for-long delicious mayo dressing:
3 tbsp freshly squeezed (or not) lemon juice
2 tsp dijon mustard
2 tsp fat free mayo
1 garlic clove, finely minced
2 tbsp chopped parsley
sea salt & ground black pepper to taste
mix all. Slowly whisk in a steady stream of 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil, then 1/4 cup water.
Toss. Eat. Thank the Depot.

A New York kind of weekend

2008-03-25T22:18:00.014-04:00

I want to travel. I miss the prep work, the endless researching to find tried and trusted local eateries. Eventually I always stumble on one that shocks me enough to add it to my itinerary. That's right, food itinerary! What better way to take in a city than by eating your way around it? I want to eat mind boggling stuff worth writing home about like fried unicorn horn, which I imagine tastes like candy or at least maple bbq candied hot dogs. I miss sitting down, taking the scenery or lack of it in, the menu's surprises, and eavesdropping on the regulars orders to see if they know a secret ordering lingo I might be able to pick up.

NYC was the best foodtinerary I've had so far, excluding America: The Trip (too long to replicate), and my stomach's been growling to relive the experience since then. I've been hearing about Japan these days again which made me miss real ramen, the biggest build up of anticipation other than Turducken. Never been to Japan myself, but I had to hear tales of deliciousness for months, reading all about memories the best ramen houses, the ramen Nazi, ramen on tv and especially about how thoughts and prayers of eating real ramen in Ottawa would never be answered.. then one day I ate Sapporo Special Ramen in NYC and understood how one bowl could make me a believer, an explorer, a chaser of the best tummy fillers for life!

When I asked CC Fried Unicorn Horn Pockets about his recent trip to NYC he mentioned the best thing about eating at BLT Prime (other than the forbidden steak?) were the popovers. A quick link up to the online recipe was provided, and I wanted them then. I could imagine tearing one apart, spackling it with Mama's peach marmalade and eating it Dr. Evil getting the handcuffs's keys from Frau-style. How would it taste, how could they pop right out of their pan hole with that cheesy crusted rug top, and how could I convince my stomach to agree with all the forbidden ingredients?

I thought about the popovers I couldn't have until the day the doctor told me those Lactose aide pills really do work. As he confirmed, I'm lactose intolerant and sensitive to bad foods that are hard to digest. ("just avoid them") That's it? Ok then! I'm making popovers!

I prepped for days, reading about the perfect method not to ruin a popover recipe, apparently there's a real precise science to it.I'd never eaten popovers myself and didn't know what to expect, but if a food link is sent from a reliable source, it must be tried. I was determined to conquer those lil alien cheesy bread puffs. I even dreamed about successfully battling it out with the Gruyere pops before having a go at them. "You really do only think about food don't you?" Evidently. Later at the Asian grocers I bumped into sesame balls, which I hadn't personally seen since Dim Sum Go Go in NYC, yet another reason to miss my favorite destination city.

And more surprisingly, a hollow middle?
Not so! Look at the cross section show!
And for the main event... BLT's popovers... take 1..

4 cups warmed milk *not skim
8 large eggs
4 cups flour *unbleached all purpose
1 1/2 tsp. salt
2 1/4 cup grated gruyere cheese *pre-divided into 2 1/2 tbsp clumps if you really like to be prepared..

Put popover pan on a baking sheet at 350F.

Carefully warm milk over low heat.

Whisk eggs until frothy and arm hurty, then slooowly whisk in milk.

Though I've heard you shouldn't toss the flour around much according to popover science, sift the flour with the salt.

Slowly combine wet and dry until mostly combined.

Remove pan and quickly butter the pan. Batter should still be warmish at this point, fill popover cup to 3/4 and top with 2 1/2 tbsp Gruyere.

Bake at 350F for 50 minutes.

Here's where it gets tricky, according to the tips and tricks of the trade, don't open the oven for 30 mins, then do, pass out from the overpowering smell of baking gruyere, recover and rotate the pan half a turn. Another tip said to bake at 450F for the first 10 minutes, then lower to 350F to ensure maximum popping.

The popovers are ready when the sides of them are cooked enough to hold their weight, or else they'll implode as soon as you take them out of the oven. A still tasty, but disappointing ending to meticulously prepared fare. If you've gotten this far, here's what you can expect.

Maybe I'm not giving enough pointers here as to when you'll know they will be ready, two recipe takes later and I haven't mastered it either. It sure is fun to retry, but oh, my thighs! I can't get tired of these.

They're simply irresistible.
The second time I made a half batch for a friend, gave one to the roommate and kept two for myself, one of which I crushed (inhaled) immediately, the other which rested on top of the oven ready to be reheated and eaten for breakfast the next morning.. Needless to say, I woke up to no breakfast popover on the oven. Probably best for my arteries in the end, but I would never turn down a popover, even if it was collapsed and reheated! (pop in oven until it reaches 350F)

I thought it was flattering that someone in the house couldn't pass by it without caving in to the smelly fluffy crusty temptation, that is until that night when I tried to decipher which one did it. I said to a full house:
"Hey, uhm.. how was that last popover?"
the one who had already had one: "did you leave it for me?"
"no."
"Good! It was Really good! After eating everything I could get my hands on in the fridge and cupboards, I couldn't resist but regretted taking it when I realized I was too full to eat it all so I gave half to the dog." (It's a Chihuahua.)

Comedic shizzle like this just writes itself 'round here.

** This friend batch here caved in, I think I mixed the batter too well, the pan wasn't hot enough, or something. Was the taste ok despite that?

Not a review, a reason to eat at Agave

2008-03-09T18:19:00.011-04:00

Agave remains my favorite Ottawa eatery.* Those who have been will keep going back, I've never had a less than stellar experience with both food and service. This southwest restaurant is not afraid to tweak their menu when necessary, plus they have the best margaritas (I've had) north of real Tex-Mex country. (Peco's Mex-Mex restaurant in Houston.)

A revamped enchilada platter, the Mexican Flag dish benefits from the recent menu changes. Three of any combination of chicken, beef or cheese enchiladas, now in a corn tortillas instead of it's flour version, no longer topped with jack cheese, and the chipotle sauce replaced by three classic sauces making up the the Mexican flag: salsa Verde, cilantro cream sauce and pico de gallo salsa I think. Served with a side of corn salad, Mexican rice, and baked cheese covered beans, accompanied by two different heat levels of fresh homemade hot sauces, all of which goes superbly with salty lime margs.

At least I imagine it would.. I wanted to try the updated veggie enchiladas (spinach and cheese replaced roasted vegetables?), but I can't have the outstanding cilantro cream sauce or the cheese, so I opted for a milkless Mexican flag with specially requested substitute sides of roasted vegetables and roasted potatoes. Simple and filling, the fresh ingredients are always prepared right. I'd break off into a spiel about other restaurants' unsuccessful attempts at this simple task, but only important bit of info is that Agave does it right time and time again.

I noticed another change, you went from small brightly coloured oblong plates who always seemed overstuffed to big round Texas sized plates where items can be pushed around and free from touching the others (for you freaks out there who obsess about such things) . I'm not complaining, white plates always make you pay close attention to the fun colours of the food.

Thank you Agave for the liquid licorice kiss goodnight, if one day I can have milk again, I'll run to try your deep fried ice cream, which I also imagine goes well with a margarita.

*trailing behind as my next restaurant pick is The Works, partially for squeezing you in the tightest quarters, forcing you to get lost in your own conversation enough to ignore the tables at each side who are no more than a foot away, partially for the ability to cram more stuff on their tiny tables than imaginable, and partially for their off the wall burger toppings, some of which surely haven't been tried. (I kid, I kid, they're all good but they secretly make me wonder!)

Stuffed mushrooms with secret crack sauce

2008-03-09T17:41:00.006-04:00

stuffable white mushrooms, stems removed, collars popped
chopped cooking onions
a few golden raisins
minced dried apricots
chopped smoked almonds

You know what, I'm gonna go Chef At Home on you and let you figure out the quantities. Just make sure there's about the same amount of chopped trees as there is of everything else combined. Mix with 1 serving of secret devilish crack sauce, the one that came up with the rice paper rolls. I omitted the peanuts, I needed to roast some almonds and get it out of my system.

Stuff caps, lightly spray with olive oil, cook at 425F for 15-20ish minutes. They're cooked right before they start to burn.

Ta da! Eat as is or with a drizzle of reserved sauce.

Spring Rolling Accident

2008-03-02T23:10:00.013-05:00

What do you bring to a potluck hosted by a good cook? Something easy to serve, uncomplicated and tasty. We rolled the dice and opted for a never tried rice paper roll recipe with a straight off the i-net well reviewed peanut dipping sauce. Niki was right, the sauce failed miserably. It lacked peanut taste and had too much satay which covered up the flavors instead of enhancing them. I got so distracted by the botched dip, I made a Rachel-bakes-a-trifle error with two different elements of the recipe, resulting in the best accidental recipe of the century.

Here's how to make your own tasty mistake:

Cook brown rice vermicelli as per package instructions, usually for a minute in boiling water. Rinse, drain well, let cool completely, toss in a bit of rice wine vinegar and refrigerate for now.

Arrange ingredients in a small neat row on rice paper in an assembly line fashion: cut brown rice vermicelli (easier to assemble), julienned carrots, julienned peeled cucumbers, crisp rinsed bean sprouts, basil leaves.
Roll up as tightly as possible without compromising the rice wrap.
Add two large shrimps, continue rolling, folding in the edges.
Completed tucked in package.

Devilish* sauce mishap:

1 tbsp sweet chili sauce
2 tsp lemon juice
2 tsp low-sodium soy sauce
1 tbsp fresh chopped chives
1 tbsp fresh chopped mint
1 tbsp chopped garlic
1 tbsp chopped unsalted peanuts

mix.
* devilish as in, playful in an appealingly bold way (insert high pitch Michael Jackson grabbing sound here.)
cut rice rolls in half. double dip. push away large crowd gathering for their share.

I was glad they held up their own around the rest of the delicious international fare! A complete success.

Worth pointing out: sinful spanakopita and mini baked samosas.

Lemon Crêpes three different ways

2008-02-19T22:16:00.014-05:00

You're not watching reruns, we made crêpes again.

3/4 cup egg whites
3/4 cup almond milk
2/3 cup Perrier water
1/2 cup all purpose flour
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
2 tbsp sifted cocoa
2 tbsp vegetable oil
3 tbsp sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 tbsp lemon zest

Add all, beat until velvety. No need to let stand for one hour with the help of soda water. Heat. Cook. Flip. Stuff.

The first, half a banana & cinnamon puree, half a nectarines, green grapes, natural peach jam.
The second (immediately after the first), contained the other half of banana & cinnamon puree, cut green grapes, half a nectarine, natural raspberry jam, maple syrup. Yes, cutting the grapes makes a difference.

The next morning Masterpiece. Raspberry jam all over, half inch rectangular slice of watermelon to cover length of crêpe, cut green grapes, diced pluot (a sweet 3part plum, 1 part apricot fruit). So sweet it didn't need syrup.

Watch as it unravels.

Sometimes I get cravings.

2008-02-17T09:03:00.005-05:00

Sometimes random ingredients thrown together don't turn out like you expected, and sometimes they do! This was exactly what I imagined but the taste was.. well.. the sauce needs some tweaking to put it delicately. It was nothing special. Here's what I had a hankering for on the 14th.

he texture was right and stayed put when I cut into it, perhaps it needed extra moisture in the form of a tomato slice. or something.

Julienned green peppers, zucchini and asparagus with green noodles in secret boring sauce sitting pretty on top of horseradish sauced zoglos burgers.

What was I thinking. It almost as bad as my craving for a rice dish featuring canned hering.

Why I only like Gigantor Oranges

2008-02-13T23:17:00.005-05:00

I never used to like oranges very much, they were small, regular, had big seeds, it was way too much work and not enough of a tasty reward. When orange peelers came out, I forced myself to like the fruit as an excuse to use the peeler. I hated getting my nails dirty with the taste of peel, I needed that tool. We lost all the peelers shortly thereafter, but my sister showed me how to peel it with a knife, and I was back at the task of eating oranges. Maybe if I ate enough I'd like them, shouldn't everyone should like oranges?

However, I was not satisfied. Why was I not eating a better juicier watermelon sized orange with pulp the size of fingers? Someone thought of the same thing and slowly big oranges started gaining popularity (in my family). That's when I decided to love oranges.

Florida oranges are a close second to what I imagine finger sized self contained detachable juice bags would be like. There's nothing like an orange that barely fits in your hand and has some good weight to it, so juicy you're forced to gulp after eating but half a seedless segment. I look for ones with another orange growing inside of it. Look for the orange's stretched belly button. (Today's was the size of an apricot.) That parasitic twin of an orange inside is surprisingly delectable.

The orange was soo good today I ate it in under 5 minute, I didn't even pause to take a picture, the one above is of a grapefruit. Maybe not so funny unless you know my average orange eating time is 30 minutes.

My favorite Monstar Salad!

2008-02-12T18:38:00.002-05:00

I created the Monstar Salad the same day I organized my spice rack, as a celebratory meal for a successful reorganization. This was no easy feat, I keep everything on my spice shelf: mixed spices, spices, specialty spices, nuts, grains, seeds, dried fruits, oils, vinegars, maple syrup and honey. I had so many random spices in plastic bags that the extra virgin olive oil and balsamic vinegar teamed up with pure maple syrup to build a protection wall for my roommates' stuff on the other side of the shelf. When every spice was finally in it's perfect place, BallSam and Olive Oil were joined with honey again, and they all had a big (tidy) party... yay!!!! (close book.)

Here's what I came up with and am guilty of having way too often.

salad dressing:
1/8 cup balsamic vinegar
1-2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1/4 cup freshly squeezed orange juice
1 tbsp dijon
2 tsp honey
big pinch pepper
big pinch smoked paprika
pinches of dried chives
whisk..
.. or something along those lines. I will try it again tomorrow after I get more balsamic, I never really measured it before! :P so good luck until I tweak it. I love a good zip to a dressing, especially for this one, so make sure it's plenty zippy.

big bowl o' mixed spring greens, bite sized!
1 cup clean bean sprouts
1 chopped green onion
1/2 cup grape/cherry tomatoes, halved
2-3 big mushrooms, julienned
2 tbsp dried golden raisins
2 tbsp chopped sun dried tomatoes
2 tbsp chopped smoked almonds
3 finely diced dried apricots
1 finely diced banana

Arrange pyramid style in mega super sized not fit for one bowl. admire. mix well. eat entire thing and consider it dessert too. mmm.... Mon.. star!!

Peanut Butter Choco Chip Crunch

2008-02-10T21:06:00.000-05:00

1 cup dark chocolate chips
1/2 cup smooth peanut butter
melt on low heat, constantly stirring

add
1/2 cup mini marshmallows
keep stirring until melted

add
2 cups special K
stir

pack into greased 8x8 pan. cut into 25 pieces. refrigerate or freeze.

Hide.

Super stuffed turkey eggplant turnovers

2008-02-10T20:02:00.002-05:00

Super stuffed turkey eggplant turnovers:

1 box PC Rice&Beans 3 Rice Bayou Blend, prepared

1 large peeled eggplant, sliced lengthwise, 1/4 " thick. Pam sprayed, salt and pepper seasoned, bake on cookie sheet in a single layer at 450F for 22mins.

Meanwhile.. the stuffing..

chop:
6 large mushrooms
1/2 green pepper
1/2 red pepper
1/4 cup chives
2 green onions
1/3 cup walnuts
1/4 cup golden raisins
1 cup broccoli
1/2 small zucchini
1/2 cup carrot sticks
4 apricots
3 cloves garlic
2 tbsp fresh basil

add:
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp hot sauce
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
1 tbsp dried parsley

Mix all. Add about 6 tbsp of your favorite prepared sauce. We split our recipe in two and did half Patagonia and half Szechwan. Spoon mixture on half of layered eggplant and 2 slices of oven roasted turkey breast, fold over turnover style. Pepper zucchini surface again.

Bake 20 minutes at 375F. Enjoy.

Healthy fruit filled chocolate crêpe if there is such a thing

2008-02-10T16:48:00.001-05:00

Here's our healthier version of Company's Coming Chocolate Crêpe..

3/4 cup egg whites
3/4 cup almond milk
2/3 cup water
1 cup all purpose flour
2 tbsp sifted cocoa
2 tbsp vegetable oil
3 tbsp Splenda
1/2 tsp vanilla
1/16 tsp salt

Beat eggs 'til fluffy, add other ingredients, beat until velvety smooth and painfully let stand for one hour.

Heat lightly Pam sprayed non-stick pan on medium, pour enough batter in, swirl around quickly to cover the pan thinly. Heat until the edge crisp and air bubbles start to form in center, flip crêpe with spatula or skill, heat for a few seconds and stack on parchment paper.

The best filling:

1 ripe banana, mushed
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1 tbsp maple syrup, two if you're daring

Spoon on the crêpe's equator, top with blueberries and sliced strawberries, fold crêpe into open ended fruity burrito, mange et fall in love donc!

*I didn't mush the bananas on the first try, but later found the cinnamon flavour more a part of the dish when it was mixed in with 'nana mush.

Werd: light delicious chocolate flavour is not overpowered by fruits, and is moist enough to not require a sauce accompaniment.

A fridge full of condiments

2008-02-10T13:12:00.001-05:00

Trying to tetris organize the fridge on grocery day is no joke, not after buying a dozen grocery bags of fresh produce and realizing you still have a fridge full of condiments. Believe it or not, this is a shot of the fridge post-tetris. What's in there exactly?

light soy sauce
regular soy sauce
spicy miso paste
green olive paste
sweet corn relish
hamburger tomato relish
horseradish sauce
dry garlic spare rib sauce
becel
ketchup x 3
relish x 2
spicy curry paste
fat free miracle whip
plum sauce x 2
habanero sauce
mint sauce
teriyaki sauce
szechwan sauce
blue menu szechwan sauce
spicy thai chili sauce
patagonia x 2
bbq
honey garlic bbq sauce
orange dijon vinaigrette
salsa
tempura sauce
hot sauce
french salad dressing
Aunt Jemima
fat free caesar salad dressing
lemon juice
balsamic vinaigrette

Fridge cleanup casualties:
Big Yellow Mustard Barrel Monster
Calvé Kerrie Ananas partysaus (mild en fruitig)
Jamaican Jerk BBQ Sauce
Cackalacky

I've been stewing

2008-02-06T23:40:00.001-05:00

This is why I wonder who else would like what I eat, my taste buds were not on the same wavelength as the masses.

My top 3:
Oregano's Chicken Fricassé
Fat Tuesday's Creole Cajun Stew
Shepherds of Good Hope

Judges Picks:
Tucker's Beef Stew
Black Thorn's East Coast Fish Chowder
Oregano's Chicken Fricassé

Fan Favorites:
Aulde Dubliner's Irish Whiskey Bull Stew
Sweetgrass's Elk & Mushroom Stew
Aubrey's Meats Angus Beef and beer stew

...

Hands completely frozen, I rushed to the office, crawled up the stairs, shoveled off the mounds of snow on my jacket, plopped down on my chair and turned my personal desk heater to the Hot Flash setting. Mon ventre vas éclatter man!

Tucker's Market Place

2008-02-06T23:30:00.001-05:00

Tucker's Beef Stew:

Variety of colorful big veggies in spicy almost curry chili super sturdy broth with long tender strips of beef. I'm glad I didn't pass up this last stew.

Mystery Meat for Mystery Restaurant

2008-02-06T23:12:00.001-05:00

Aubrey's Meats Traditional Stew w local Angus beef and Steamwhisle:

Big slices of angus beef. Fifty fifty meat to veggies ratio in this lighter bottom of the pan broth. Strong and inviting taste of steamwhisle, lots of floating bits of unidentified origins.

so full!

Sweetgrass Aboriginal Bistro's stew

2008-02-06T23:02:00.002-05:00

Elk & Mushroom stew:

More like yelk & weird rubber mushrooms stew. The elk itself was nice and tender, the stew tasted of an odd combination of spices, the wrong combination for me, and it the mushrooms made me wonder if I had finally discovered a vegetable I disliked.

Sweet Grass is still on my list of restaurants to try in Ottawa, but this stew was especially not to my liking. I can't get over the texture of the mushrooms . I looked for a garbage, but I didn't think it'd be classy to trow away food at a charity event. It was a tough gulp-down.

Oh Regan O's

2008-02-06T22:43:00.002-05:00

Oregano's Pasta Market Chicken Fricassé:

My right hand was frozen, I was getting full (a rarity), snow was accumulating on me, I turned around towards the band counting how many stews I had to go before I dove into this one half heartedly. It shocked me so much I bite into a full spoonful, stopped dead in my tracks, 180'ed and asked the guy if the stew was on the menu. I've never wanted to eat at Oregg's, but I'd pay for this stew. So much chicken, shredded and chunky, minimal veggies other than celery, so thick my spoon could have been standing straight up without falling and it tasted like the bursting insides of your best chicken pot pie. I could have stopped sampling then, I had found the ultimate feel good stew.

Chili Con

2008-02-06T22:34:00.002-05:00

Mexicali Rosa's Chili Con Carne:

Chili is good because it's chili. When a restaurant enters a stew cook off with something other than stew, it better be impressive and that it was not. The taste was there, but the consistency and ingredients were sub par. Both my chili recipes beat this, I've also had better chili in Greece. No lies.

Foundation Nation

2008-02-06T22:26:00.001-05:00

Foundation Stew:

Could eat this everyday. Bold broth with minimal veggies, specks of barley and maximum shredded beef cubes, uncomplicated in taste. What's not to like?

Ottawa Mission

2008-02-06T22:13:00.001-05:00

Ottawa Mission Super Stew:

Super chunks of beef and all the home style veggies, potatoes, peas, celery, carrots. Tasty enough.

Mad about Mambo

2008-02-06T22:06:00.001-05:00

Mambo's Mambo Stew:

I was mad about Mambo, mad I didn't know where in the market it was, mad it was so plain tomato y and mad that I couldn't remember exactly what it tasted like by the time I took a bite out of the next stand's stew.

I still don't know where it is.

Kinki Vegetarian Stew

2008-02-06T21:29:00.000-05:00

Something different! I never before imagined the taste of a good hearty Japanese stew. Perfectly spicy thick and rich Japanese broth with good chunks of veggies, soft as pierogi perfect dumpling and topped with spicy and tangy sesame seeds. Zing! I'm stealing their idea for those sesame seeds, it was the best way to add adequate to the soup.

good will, good food

2008-02-06T00:44:00.002-05:00

Shephards of Good Hope's stew:

Rich tasty thick tomato base with ground beef and an overload of tender fresh vegetables. So thick and fresh I would make this a staple of mine if I had the recipe. Corn compliments this well with its bursts of sweetness.
MMM.. More.

What's with the Blue Cactus these days?

2008-02-06T00:31:00.001-05:00

Blue Cactus Green Chili Stew:

The green chili taste was good enough and zingy, but not very spicy, not very chunky, not very thick. There's supposed to be beef in this one, but I didn't see it in meat-form. Of course it was good, but like the calamari of past experiences at the cactus, this just wasn't very anything.

It doesn't snow in New Orleans

2008-02-06T00:14:00.003-05:00

Fat Tuesday's Creole Cajun Stew

Not your average Zataran's, this mega thick chunky seafood-a-plenty stew reminded me how much I miss Coop's Place on Decatur. Jambalaya!

C'est Mardi Gras!

Pub 101: Spicy Cuban Pork Stew

2008-02-06T00:00:00.002-05:00

Didn't appreciate the texture of the pulverized pork and veggie bits, but the taste was good for bar food.

First up, a winner? Heart & Crown

2008-02-05T23:06:00.001-05:00

After much boasting from the soup bowl guys, I had to try both of the Heart and Crown's, it seemed like the natural choice as they were the first in a long line of stews.

Heart & Crown bread dumpling stew:
I got a little too excited with my first bowl and forgot to snap a picture. The bread dumpling didn't have the taste and consistency of wet rag noodles, a savory surprise and a first for me. Chewy not soggy dough floating in a decent thick broth.

Heart & Crown Quebec Meatball Stew: Yummy medium thick broth, dense pork meatballs, typical carrot slices.

Stewy at the Cook Off!

2008-02-05T22:32:00.000-05:00

Nearly every day I walk around the market seeking something new, something other than a multitude of exotic take out restaurants but Friday a co-worker told me there was a giant cook off in the blizzard. Oh? I like eating, what better way to start my first Winterlude than with a good ol' stew cook off in the snow.

Off I go with my bowl and prison style big flat soup spoon.. I understand why they hold the spoons like that in prison (tv prison), it's like trying to use a small plate for a spoon, cumbersome.

Here's photographic evidence of the mayhem and my lasting lightning impressions.

Refattened Fat Free Avocado Mayo Veggie Burgers

2008-01-30T20:35:00.001-05:00

you need:
1 ripe avocado
2 tbsp fat free Miracle Whip
1 tsp chives

dash of:
smoked paprika
cayenne pepper
salt
pepper
lemon juice

mix all.

2 of your favorite veggie patties, ready to eat, however you cook 'em.
I only use Zoglos Tender Meatless Burgers, cooked in 1 tbsp of olive oil, medium heat, for 4 mins on each side. Since it's not a juicy patty, feel free to press on it so the outside browns and crisps up a bit. I use an iron press to add a little weight on the patty. Don't turn it into a crepe!*

1 small Montreal-style bagel, whole wheat, multi-grain cinnamon raisin, or something that's not all white flour. Toast by placing it in the oven, split, face up, directly on the grill if you keep it clean enough, and broil until golden.

Pile them together open face sandwich style starting with bagel, moderate ring of horseradish sauce, patty, Avocado Mayo on top, and EAT. What, no top bun? NO! Sacrilège! It would send the mayo squirting out everywhere, leaving you wondering if everyone can see that whitish crusty stain on your pants.

final nurd word: fresh and delectable, add 1 chopped tspn fresh cilantro or basil to the mayo next time.

*meatless smushed patty-crèpe hey oh! That might be good paired with some Bavarian hashbrowns.. Superbowl breakfast perhaps?

The Backwards Recipes

2008-01-30T20:31:00.000-05:00

I haven't been posting, I forget which font I'm supposed to use. As of now, posts will forever go backwards as I catalog my good and not-so good recipes from the past. To confuse even more, I'll be taking frequent trips to present day cooking.

I've since discovered these do not agree with me: ALL milk products (Milk is in Butter, but yes I can eat eggs, which is not a milk product), some soy products, instant rice, too much white flour, and anything too artificial or deep fried. Whoohoo! Onwards goes the food saga.

Feed 'em Healthy

2007-07-22T23:14:00.000-04:00

Since the day I started cooking for one in my multi-roommate house, I've been "pressured" to start a food blog for my one-chick cooking show. Well, here it is.

The fact that I love food is an understatement, I love food lots, and I love lots of it. Unfortunately, food loves me no longer.

Since the chip-truck incident of summer 2005, I've had issues with the most unhealthy foods. Somehow my stomach managed to O.D. on fat and began rejecting any high-fat foods, subjecting me to a forced summer diet of fruit, veggies, yogurt, cereal, and quitting coffee. This was far from pleasant as I'd never restricted myself from eating. I slowly re-introduced every food gradually, and all was well until the summer of 2007 : mind blowing pain as food crash lands in my stomach. Here's the documentation of a long-term switch to an all-healthy (mostly) eating lifestyle. I figure there's no time like the present to start food experimenting and finally see a doctor. ugh.

My quest for delicious and nutritious food is ongoing and peppered with slips into sinfully delirious food heaven. Must this Granola-raised turned burger aficionado return to her roots? Will my tasty travels ever return or will I be banned to the deep hell hall of a restrictive diet?